New Place - New Life

Finally moved out and on with my life. Ok, still working on that second part.

I found out how awesome my friends are over the last few months and I must remember to either pay it back or pay it forward.  I had two awesome friends Janice and Amy come stay with me the whole weekend (when I moved) PLUS they helped me move and put Ikea furniture together. Also thanks to Stephanie, Renvy, Jessica and her friend Julie. I couldn't have dealt with that weekend without all of your help.

Loving my new space. Of course I have only been here a week and I still have things to do to settle in - but I picked a great location. I was also able to have Mar stay with me since Tuesday and he seems to be doing quite well so that makes me insanely happy too.  I was pretty nervous about Mar making the transition.  We are sharing custody of him which works out great due to my traveling.

I am sure there will be some bumps and rough times ahead but I am definitely ready to tackle them head on.

Will turn this back into a fitness type blog going forward :)

2 weeks out

I am doing better than I thought I'd be. I have more moments of 'this is better for me' or "I can't wait to do this" than 'OMG life is over'.  Its just more like life as I used to know it is over.  The little things that bother me.  The lack of texts, not feeling I have anyone to speak to about big things, etc.

For instance he left just now to watch football with his brother and SIL up at a bar/restaurant that we'd go to all the time. Granted the food and service suck lately there but it just blows that he doesn't want to do that with me anymore. oh well.

Living in the same house has been ok. I know I'll regress some when I get my own place but I have courage and strength and know I'll be fine in the long run.  I just have to stop thinking worse case scenario and be more positive. I am often positive in my life to others, I just need to point the positivity to me for a while. Right?

One step forward, two steps back

I was doing ok. But yesterday was rough. I had an good evening with 7 of my close girlfriends. I got a pedi/mani and eyebrows done. Then we went out for dinner/drinks. No one let me pay for anything.  It makes me a sad happy that I have such great friends. I love them all for supporting me and letting me know all I am feeling is normal.

Today I finally talked to my dad. Surprisingly talking about things makes me feel better. So I may seek out some therapy. I'll look into that this week.

Some days I can be in the same room with him and some days not so much. Today is an ok day. I started making some playlists and bought some music from itunes. I am making a few lists a sad emo list, I fuck it all list, a happy song list and sad shitty songs.

One day at a time right?

Fake it till you make it?

Is that the saying?

I just transferred the temporary plate off my car and put the new one on. I took a Life Is Good tag frame and placed it over it. Yeah I don't feel that shit right now but see title of blog post.

I've decided to stay in my home (as it is my home too) until the house stuff is settled. This will be hard because today is one of those days where I want to yell and scream and punch stuff. But I have a level(ish) head and I know if I punch stuff I will either be hurt or have to fix a hole in something. And at this point, it isn't worth it.

So you may ask yourself why the fuck are you staying there? Well I have choices to go to friends places to crash. But think of it this way - if I travel 3 days a week, I want to feel I am at a place that is my own when I get home.  I do not want to feel like a guest in a home.  I know that might not make sense to all and maybe it's not the best choice for me right now but I am new at this stuff.

I was walking the dog this morning, which I MADE myself do because I just wanted to stay in bed. I thought it would help but I just got sad.

I don't want to talk to him today and I will do my best to not.

New Year - New Goals. Right?!

Ok I admit I sucked at my blog last year. Too many things going on with my life. I never did the half mary - mainly due to injuries. Running seems to really fluck up my foot/ankle. I will try again soon - but I am not promising anything. Maybe a 5k.

Many changes abound in 2012. Two days ago -my boyfriend and I of 13 years broke up. This is the guy I moved down south with 12 years ago with, the guy I own a house and big lab with. (yeah I know not proper grammar but I. Don't. Care. Today.)

I am a strong person. Yeah I've been a weepy hot mess the last few days but overall I am strong. I can and will get through this. There are FAR worse things in life right?  I am totally not looking forward to apartment shopping or moving. But we'll share custody of the puppers and I know I'll come out ok. Heck maybe even stronger in the long run right?

So my first goal(s) of the year is to be positive.  No one likes Debbie Downer. There are other great things I have - I have a job I like, I have wonderful friends as they have been both in person and virtually supporting me over the last few days. I think I've cried more reading the kind words from caring friends.

So I'll keep this blog. I'll be positive, I'll try new things. I'll try to be here more as well.  I'll leave with this, I dont take too much into horoscopes and I know nothing about retrograde and shit - but this 2012 overview for me kind of was close to home.  Here's to a better 2012.

Year 2012 Overview

This year is all about non-stop action for you, Virgo. With Mars spending the entire first half of 2012 in your sign, you may start to wonder if there will be any break in sight before 2013. The first quarter of the year will be under Mars's retrograde influence, a transit that could push you into a semi-neurotic workaholic mode. Be sure to give yourself plenty of physical outlets in order to channel all that excess Mars energy. When Mars turns direct in Virgo in May, you'll possess tremendous energy to make amazing things happen!

With Neptune moving back into your partnership sector in February, you'll settle for nothing less than your true soul mate; either that or you'll feel blissfully wedded to your spiritual nature ... or perhaps a little of both! In any case, this is the time of your life to realize how important it is to satisfy the longings of your soul. You've compromised, settled and rationalized trying to make the wrong relationship right for long enough. Now you're willing to wait for the real thing.

You'll be thrilled to know that Saturn, after putting the brakes on your spending over the last few years, is finally about to take leave of your financial sector. Any financial challenges you've had to endure since 2009 should come to an end this October. A change of residence or alterations to your current abode are possibilities under the next wave of eclipse patterns. June's full Moon lunar eclipse in your domestic sector is the beginning of many profound changes to affect both home and career prospects between late 2012 and early 2013. And then, the new Moon solar eclipse in November in your communication sector could bring new potential for learning, speaking, writing or travel opportunities

I'm baaaaaack!

Started training again finally. Still have my sights set on November half mary here in Charlotte.  It's funny, Im not a fan of running, but I love the way I feel after I've run. Make sense?

I also prefer treadmill running to outdoors. I know that is counterproductive to running a race but with the summer heat and humidity it's like running in a sauna outside some days.

Work quieted down for a while but now I think it's the calm before the storm for at least the next 5 months. We'll see.  I have vacations planned each month through October so that is nice. In a week I get to hang with 13 of the most awesome ladies I know up near Asheville for a veggie retreat. Next month, camping with friends. September we finally planned a trip out to Las Vegas with my mom and brother. The main purpose of that trip is that we go to the Grand Canyon but I figured mom had never been to Vegas so we can do some touristy stuff like the Hoover Dam and a Vegas Circue show. Then the in-laws are renting a month down on HHI in October so Im sure we'll spend a weekend or two down there.

I will run and post more. My plan is treadmill running at least 3 times a week and maybe one outdoor run a week. And Im kind of starting over from scratch due to the ankle - but I will get there! (and so will you Janice :))

Black cloud of injury...

Or maybe it is stupidity. I sprained the inside of my ankle about 6 weeks ago. Got a walking boot from the foot doc, and it was getting better. He even downgraded me to a simpler brace. However my (cute and awesome nephew) came to visit during his spring break.  We went to the US National Whitewater Center to mountain bike, whitewater raft and kayak.

Crash x 2.
I had been whitewater rafting a few times, and at least once before at the man made river. I had never fallen out. Well STUPID me decided to not wear a brace for rafting. I got tossed out of the boat a few times that afternoon. Banged up my leg and foot/ankle with cement burns (road rash) and SMASHED the outside of the already sore ankle too. So I am kind of back at square one.

I have been able to exercise very little and I am chomping at the bit. I want to work to strengthen my ankle but I can barely wear a sneaker yet because of where the scrapes are on the opposite foot.

But as soon as I can I will start running again. Meh.